Dr. Julie Caton

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Chapter 28: The Sting of the Rope

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At this point in White Heart, marriage becomes a prominent theme. Claude has gone off and married Full-Moon, a cranky Ojibwa female. Wilhelm moves soft-spoken, genteel Ellen into Parrot’s Bay all the way from Quebec. And Madeleine is anxious to get into Robert’s canoe, so to speak.

Finding one’s life partner was just as important three hundred years ago as it is today. I look around me now and most people are yearning for a mate. Many singles have signed on to the internet dating sites. Some report great success finding a match.So an important question we need to answer is:What ingredients go into a successful marriage?The matchmaking internet sites claim that two people need to have similar interests, common values, and a shared religion in order to have a “match made in heaven.” When I was a young teenager, Christian leaders would urge me to prayerfully make a list of the traits that I thought were important in the man God-intended for me. I have to admit I still check an updated list when the opportunities for dating arise.But neither the websites nor the youth leaders offer this suggestion: the couple should have a passion and a strong physical attraction towards each other. And I will add: that passion should be so strong that the couple declares: “We want to grow old together.”If you are in the process of selecting a mate, can you picture yourself in the last decade of your life with your chosen person? Are the trust, loyalty and respect between each of you that strong, that the partnership will last a life-time?The primary ingredient to a successful marriage is whether the Creator has ordained this union and whether the couple is relying on Him to sustain that union. If God, believes that the man and woman should be together as partners, then the green light is on. But if God does not give peace to either person in this potential couple, then the red light is on.Why is God’s involvement important in the selection of your marriage partner?1. Because God made each of you AND he knows what each of you need -- physically, emotionally and spiritually. The Creator hand-crafted this perfect complement. Successful couples find that where one partner may be weak in technology, the other might be strong. Or if one is a good cook, the other is a good mechanic. Where one partner has an artistic eye, the other may have a mathematical brain.2. Because God’s presence needs to indwell each of the partners to make the marriage successful. This God-presence keeps a flow of grace, forgiveness, understanding, and unity of spirit, all of which lubricate the partnership.3. Because God’s protection over the institution of marriage is crucial. The family is the bedrock for a just and stable society. Only Christ’s blood hurls Satan, the destroyer of marriage, away. Christ dwelling in the couple makes the devil powerless to injure the blessed partnership.As you keep reading, you will see how the different marital relationships in White Heart work out. As I wrote on page 292, “Each [couple] had distinctly different stories . . . . But each had similar cement in their relationship: They were utterly loyal to each other.”Let me know your thoughts. What do you think is important when it comes to finding your ideal mate? What would you tell your young adult child about the steps involved with selecting her marriage partner? Or if you are already married, let me know how Christ is helping you keep quality in your marriage.Blessings,large-signature