Freeing Ourselves from Guilt

Doesn’t the feeling of guilt ruin your day?   I hate it when my heart is troubled because I feel guilty.  Guilt colors my whole perspective on the good things around me.  When I feel guilty I feel “wrong”, incompetent, soiled and dirty. Wouldn’t you like to be free of guilt as I would? It would be nice to get through a day without that nagging, yucky feeling of “I’m guilty.” 

I’ve given a lot of thought to this enemy. This is what I have come up with:  There are two kinds of guilt: false guilt and true guilt. Whether I am troubled with either false or true guilt, there is a way of shedding that burden:  I identify the guilt. Then I release it.In order to know how to get rid of guilt, let’s understand this emotion better.  The dictionary defines guilt as a breach of conduct, the breaking of a law. When one is guilty one deserves a punishment for the crime.False guilt is built on “laws” or expectations that I created within myself.  These standards are NOT based on something written down, concrete, or coming from a higher power.  I might feel guilty because my mother nags me to call every Sunday morning and I don’t do it (because I’m hurrying to get ready for church).  Maybe I feel guilty because I take the time for a manicure even though my husband says,  “Don’t do your nails. It is a waste.”   Or, when I have guests coming over and I haven’t sorted through the mail pile for three days or wiped down the bathroom mirror, I might feel guilty. I assume these guests must be wondering about my slovenliness.  The multiple “shoulds” in my life are prime sources of guilt. (Whether I “should” do these things is another question.)Those examples of false guilt stem from one problem area for me: I want the approval of other people.  When I don’t get it, I feel guilty. I ASSUME that I have let my mother, my husband, and my friends all down because I haven’t done what they wanted. False guilt also grows inside of me when I disappoint myself. I’m a list maker – sometimes on paper, but almost always within my head.  On this list are the errands and projects, chores and calls that need to be made each day.  But I usually fail to complete that list, leaving me riddled with guilt.  In truth, the world isn’t going to explode, or my house isn’t going to crash around me, if I only do some of the items on that list.  What’s the harm in leaving some for another day?  After all, isn’t there a poster hanging on my bulletin board that says:  “When I die I want there to be something left on my to-do list?”As I have gotten older I have tried to shed my skin of perfectionism, because it is my source of false guilt.   This heavy, soggy, hot, full-length “cloak” burdens many of us. You and I want to be perfect, so we set perfect standards and strive for them.  But we fail. Then we feel guilty and our positive emotions crumble. Worry and sadness kick in.  What is our response to these bad feelings?  I tend to tighten my cloak of perfection around me, hoping I will feel safe and secure again. With the cloak back on, I keep on striving to be perfect. But I fail again.  And again.  And false guilt continues to ruin my days.This cycle of false guilt has a solution.  It’s similar to what I am going to suggest for ridding yourself of true guilt. Tune in on Wednesday to learn about true guilt. But for today; do you find yourself battling with false guilt? Are you a perfectionist like me, trying desperately to succeed but always failing? Or are you crumbling under the expectation of others? Let me encourage you today to identify that guilt, and release it into the hands of Jesus.