Fool-Proofing your Life: What to do When You Love a Fool

Adapted/excerpted from a message by Michael Cavanaugh, President of Elim Bible Institute, delivered to the Living Waters Annual Women’s Retreat on October 1, 2016.I wish you all could have heard President Cavanaugh’s two-part message on Fool-Proofing your Life: What to do When You Love a Fool.  This topic is so relevant.  I know, because I have dealt with “fools” in my life. I have clients who struggle as they live with “fools”. And  — I hate to admit this —  I have even been a fool during seasons of my life.The following is a outline summary.  To learn more, I would suggest you do a word search for “fool” in the Bible, particularly Proverbs, and pay attention to how a fool acts.  Ask yourself how does the Bible suggests a person handle a fool.Simply put, according to President Cavanaugh,  the fool believes he/she is always right and his/her opinion is the most important.  Therefore a fool never confesses or repents. They are closed to the idea that anything could be their fault.  They do not have a capacity for self-evaluation. In a nut-shell a fool knows it all, doesn’t listen, and keeps repeating the same troublesome behavior.When one lives or works with a fool, the only way you can flourish while relating to your fool is by gaining wisdom and understanding. It is folly to try to change the fool.  Take a look at Proverbs 16:22:  “Understanding (insight, prudence) is a fountain of life to one who has it, but instruction to fools is folly.”  The key is for you to ask God for wisdom.  This wisdom is NOT for the purpose of making the fool change his/her ways.  A fool doesn’t want to change.  The wisdom from on high (James 3:17) is to teach you, the wise one, how to disconnect from the fool.  The five steps President Cavanaugh suggested are as follows:

1. Don’t keep dancing with the fool.  By that he meant, if you are in a relationship, make sure that the fool isn’t leading you to step or move where he/she wants you.  Be sure to disconnect from your dance partner sufficiently so you can move as the Lord leads you.
2. Pray for courage.  The fool likes the “familiar” and will keep doing the same old dance steps.  When you stop dancing with him/her, the fool may not like it at all.  Be forewarned.
3. Forgive the fool, and let go.  Don’t keep expecting something from him/her.  Release your expectations.
4. Speak the truth, for your sake.  The fool probably won’t hear it or change anyway in light of the truth. But the Word of God says that the truth will set YOU free.
5. Do what is right.  Check out Romans 12, and live in a manner of being at peace with all people.

Thank you, Mike Cavanaugh, and Living Waters Women’s Retreat staff, for that terrific spiritual lesson.In Christ,