What are the solutions to our problems regarding sexuality?

1. When God cursed mankind, he did promise that the seed of man would ultimately crush Satan’s head. This happened with Jesus’s death on the cross. This is the key to the solution of troubled sex lives. Jesus died to redeem you — your errors, your poor judgments, your blatant sins, your shame and guilt. Jesus Christ’s blood covers you — if you ask God with a repentant heart, and if you go and “sin no more.”
2. We need to be honest with ourselves, our partners, and our God. We need to live in Christ, remembering that He said He is the truth. If you become one flesh with someone, you are becoming his/her marital partner. Therefore in God’s eyes, when that happens, you are married. So if you state otherwise you are living a lie. I believe that any form of sexual arousal, with the intent of desired “oneness” through an orgasmic experience, is the equivalent of sexual intercourse. So any genital contact fits into this area. Therefore, heavy petting is playing with fire, and I’m declaring that it is an act of disobedience. When that happens you are “acting married”, so you are not walking in the truth. That very condition will cut you off from God’s Spirit, just like a fan unplugged from its power source. It will whirl for a while and then stop.
3. We need to come back in to the Garden of Eden, and reconnect with God. Accept the covering of Christ’s blood, and enter into His presence. Admit your disobedience and your shame. Then take a swim (or wade, if swimming is too much at this point.) In the Garden there are four rivers that flow: Pishon, “increase”; Gihon, “bursting forth”; Tigris, “rapid”. and Euphrates, “fruitfulness”. Dive into one or all of them. They represent the Holy Spirit. Perhaps you need to wade in, going more deeply until you are swimming. When this immersion happens you will be back in a right relationship with your suitable partner, connected to the Creator, and able to claim blessings that existed before the Fall. These blessings will bring you into a healthy, fruitful, and fun sex life. These blessings will give you the power of self-control, a fruit of the Spirit, to manage a healthy relationship.
4. To walk in the truth and reconnect with the Holy Spirit, one can use “spiritual breathing.” We need to live a “confessing life” — where we become sensitive to our falling into lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and pride of life. We then confess it immediately, and reclaim the lost power of the Holy Spirit. Confess and put the Holy Spirit back in control of your behaviors.
5. To talk openly about this “taboo” topic. Our children need to hear the Biblical point of view from us without our displaying a parental tone of judgment or even anxiety. If we don’t speak about it, the youngsters’ tutor on sex will be television and social media. The concern is not just the child turning the channel and finding a couple in bed, but that boy or girl seeing the ads and sitcoms about flirtation, immodest dress, and sexual innuendoes that are considered common place and acceptable.

If you believe this discussion topic is important, I encourage you to share these ideas (Blog: Our Hidden Sex Lives, Part I - V) with your children, your friends, and church. If I may be of help, please contact me to lead a discussion.